Dear Cold, Heartless Thugs… #10,000 reward.

Dear Cold, Heartless Thugs who stole these two Yorkies from their home in San Antonio Texas

Baxter and Cooper

Give them up. There’s a $10,000 reward for their safe return- which is way more than whatever you sold them for. Bring them back. Not because you care or have a heart (cuz we all know you’re dead inside and wouldn’t dare do anything for the right reason), but do it for the money!

You care about yourself right? And pretty much no one else? Yeah, then make an anonymous call, set up a drop off, bam- you’re $10,000 richer. Then get lost and go on with your life with $10K to spend on whatever the heck you want. Not a very difficult decision to make, if you ask me. $10,000 vs. $0. No-brainer.

You can even make yourselves out to be heroes! Oh what fun! Whatever. We’ll go along with it. We don’t care if you live in a van down by the river or if you’re the President of the US- you’ll be heroes to us.

You’re punks and have done bad things- that likely will never change. But we still want to give you $10K for the safe return of Baxter and Cooper. If this is a really tough decision for you to make on your own, consider talking to a banker who will tell you this is easy money and you’d be stupid not to do it.

Not so warm and fuzzy towards you (I’m sure that makes you so sad),

Juli

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